Teaching sportsmanship

When Your Child is Involved in Any Activity:
Don't force your child to participate.
If your child does participate, then be proud, and most of all -- be there.
Do listen for your child's desires, fears, and doubts -- and take them seriously. Watch for behavior that says your child isn't having fun (acting out, headaches, feigned illnesses, sleeping difficulties, performance anxiety). Give your child permission to say, "No more."
Remember that the activity is not about you -- it's about the child. Don't stake your ego or self-esteem on the outcome of the activity or on your child's performance. Remember that activities for children should be designed mostly for fun.
Do insist that the activity be safely conducted. Take the time to find out what "safe" means for that activity.
Makes sure the activity is free of drugs, alcohol, tobacco -- or sexual or gang-related activity.
Do not yourself use drugs, alcohol or tobacco during the activity.
Don't force others to accept your child into the activity, unless there are extenuating circumstances and your child is both capable and powerfully motivated to be accepted.
Do teach your child to accept it when things don't go his/her way.
Do not pressure your child to engage in age-inappropriate activities.
Don't encourage, force or condone behavior from anyone (including yourself) that's unhealthy, unsafe, or unfair.
Do support, be proud of and praise your child -- regardless of the outcome of the activity or your child's performance. If your child isn't trying as hard as you'd like, gently try to find out why. Perhaps your child doesn't enjoy that particular activity anymore, and a compromise can be found. Remember, life is short, and childhood even shorter. When in doubt, see #1 (Don't force your child to participate).
Get involved. Learn what the activity is all about. Help with sets, organization, coaching, driving, snacks, safety, supplies, promotion, etc. But leave the coaching, teaching and instruction to the folks in charge.
Don't embarrass your child (make sure you KNOW what embarrasses your child).
Don't laugh at, ridicule, criticize, yell at, or abuse your child -- or someone else's child -- for making a mistake, performing poorly or losing a competition. Do cheer from the sidelines and acknowledge great plays by all players/sides/teams.
After the game, do thank the officials and coaches. Congratulate your child and your child's teammates. Compliment other players as well on good plays or skills.
On the way home, ask open-ended questions of your child and then listen carefully to the answers. Try to be patient and allow your child to think through the answers to questions like these: How did the game go? What was your favorite part? What did you learn today? What did you wish had gone differently?
Do teach your child to play (or work) by the rules and to resolve disagreements without resorting to hostile, rude, abusive, mean or violent behavior. Make sure you do, too.
Teach your child to treat everyone else involved in the activity with respect and goodwill -- regardless of race, creed, skin color, gender or ability. Make sure you do, too.
Do teach your child to place the emotional and physical well-being of themselves and other children ahead of personal desires to win or do well. Make sure you do, too.
Do teach your child -- especially your younger children -- to value self-improvement and effort (on their part and on the part of others). Teach them to take pleasure in small gains. And then make sure you do, too.

The information in this post is copyrighted. You may quote the original article.
The proper citation is: Rogers, L. (n.d.) "Teaching Sportsmanship" Retrieved (date) from the Safer Child, Inc. Web site: http://www.saferchild.org/sportsma.htm

What Makes for a Great Parent?

A Great Parent:

Shows a child unconditional love.
Is there.
Does not expect the child to be the parent, and does not inflict own needs on the child at the expense of the child's needs.
Does not subtly sabotage a child's efforts to learn, mature and excel.
Allows a child to be less than perfect. Forgives mistakes, and teaches a child how to forgive him or herself. Acknowledges own mistakes and apologizes for them.
Does not give up on a child or teen.
Loves and accepts a child who walks a different path.
Is not threatened by a child's independence, happiness, dreams, individuality, achievements, or occasional rebellion.
Shows a child consistent and loving discipline.
Is supportive, excited and interested in what the child is doing (and wants to do).
Teaches a child how to be angry or frustrated in helpful, constructive ways.
Teaches a child how to communicate in constructive, loving ways.
Teaches a child how to deal with fear.
Knows that the child's safety and well-being comes first. Does hard things if it will help the family.
Stands up for a child. Protects the child from dangerous and harmful situations or people.
Is willing to learn from others -- including the child.
Teaches a child how to protect and take care of him or herself (financially, physically, emotionally).
Sets a good example in life, love, happiness, morality, friendships and daily habits.
Shows a spouse or partner unconditional (but not self-abusive) love -- and lets the child see it.
Allows a child to dream big dreams.
Takes care of self.
Makes fun and laughter regular daily activities.
Teaches a child how to see the lighter side of life.
Teaches a child that it's OK to be happy, even if someone else isn't.
Teaches a child to hope, and also to trust in him or herself.
Keeps all promises to a child.
Makes all the necessary (and some unnecessary) personal sacrifices.
Teaches a child how to resolve problems, and how to celebrate triumphs.
Praises child frequently and sincerely.
Is proud of child, and tells child so.
Encourages good behavior and discourages bad behavior. Listens to child's explanation, and allows child to suffer (non-hurtful) consequences.
Is a good listener.
Offers advice without destructive criticism.
Discusses things with child honestly and openly. Allows child to disagree in age-appropriate ways.
Knows when to let go of a situation that can't be resolved.
Teaches a child how to be positive and enthusiastic.
Knows when to let a child become an adult.
Doesn't ever stop trying to become a better parent.

The information in this post is copyrighted. You may quote the original article.

The proper citation is: Rogers, L. (n.d.) "What Makes for a Great Parent?" Retrieved (date) from the Safer Child, Inc. Web site: http://www.saferchild.org/what.htm